HOW TO FIND A TRUE SOUL MATE

"How to find a true soul mate"

Summary:

 The prospective unmarried boys or the girls to view and assess their individual physical needs, safety needs, love and belonging needs, their esteem and self-ultimate goal and then conjugate with their partner’s needs. The steps of proceedings for matrimonial alliance are briefed in this blog.

Needs:

Abraham Maslow wanted to understand human needs which motivate people and hence he depicted 5 needs in hierarchy in his 1943 paper “A Theory of Human Motivation” in Psychological Review. These needs were called Maslow hierarchy of needs which are still relevant today. People live, unite and separate as per these needs.

I have briefed here these needs for unmarried boys and girls who must understand these needs and live a better, fulfilled and enjoyable life. It is also applicable to those who are already married.

 Physiological needs

These needs are physical for survival of marriage .If these requirements are not met; the marriage cannot function properly and may fail and lead to divorce. Both the boys and girls should have good physical features and attractive enough to get attracted to each other.

Physically the girl or the boy should be of good desired height, weight, looks and overall good appearance. Good sense of dressing, walking and of good health and habits. The girl or the boy should consume all metabolic requirements to be healthy and leading a good balanced life style.

 Safety needs

One should also foresee their life and safety requirements. How will be secured in future to be visualised at the beginning itself.  Both couples to see the following needs:

• Stay and home security.

• Financial security.

• Health and well-being

• Safety net against accident/illness and their adverse impacts

• Overall family security.

Love and belonging

The third level of human needs is interpersonal behaviour and feelings of belonging towards:

1] Each other

2] Family

3] Friends

4] Society in general

According to Maslow, people need to feel a sense of belonging, attachment, togetherness and acceptance among their peer/social groups. For example, some large social groups may include clubs, co-workers, religious groups, professional organizations, sports teams, and trekking groups. Small social connections include family members, intimate partners, mentors, colleagues, and confidants. Humans need to love and be loved – both sexually and non-sexually – by others. Many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety and clinical depression in the absence of this love or belonging element. This need for belonging may overcome the physiological and security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure.

Esteem

Esteem is the human desire to be accepted and valued by others in the society he or she lives. One often engages in a profession or hobby to gain recognition. These activities give the person a sense of contribution or value. Lower self-esteem or an inferiority complex may resurface from imbalances during this level in the hierarchy. People with lower self-esteem often need respect from others; they may feel the need to seek fame or glory, recognition and respect. However, these will not help the person to build their self-esteem until they accept who they are internally. Psychological imbalances such as depression can regress the person from obtaining a higher level of self-esteem or self-respect.

Most people have a need for continual self-respect and self-esteem. Maslow noted two versions of esteem needs: a lower one and a higher version. The lower version of esteem is the need for respect from others in the society. This may be a need for status, recognition, attention fame and prestige the higher version is self-respect. For example, the person may have a need for strength, power, competence, self-confidence, independence, and freedom. The higher version takes precedence over the lower version because it relies on an inner competence established through experience. Deprivation of these needs may lead to an inferiority complex, weakness, helplessness and separated. Boys and girls should see these aspects before they find a true soul mate in themselves.

 Self-actualization

“What a man can be, he must be”. This quotation is the basis of the perceived need for self-actualization in life. This need refers to what a person’s full potential is and the realization and concretization of that potential. Maslow depicts this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be. To be married individuals may perceive or focus on this need very specifically. For example, one individual may have the strong desire to become an ideal parent/good professional. In another, the desire may be expressed athletically. For others, it may be expressed in paintings, pictures, or inventions. As previously mentioned, Maslow believed that to understand this level of need, the person must not only achieve the previous needs, but master them. Both boys and understand these aspects and redefine some goals mutually agreed.

Married Couples:

If though you are married, you may reengineer your life styles and liking as per hierarchy of needs to rejuvenate. You both have to understand your physiological needs, safety needs, love and belongingness, esteem and self-actualisation. You restart buying new trendy apparels and accessories from online sites likewww.amazon,com, www.flipcart.comlwww.snapdeal.com and other retailing sites. Couples can plan and move to better house and secure.  Love, esteem and new goals can be defined jointly to live life king-size.  After sometime you will be able to redeem.

How to find:

There are several matrimonial websites in India where one can register their profiles, enter their details about height, weight, looks, complexion, liking, desired partner preferences, education, their language etc. so that there is perfect match. Some of the prominent sites are:

1] www.jeevansathi.com

2] www.shaadi.com

3] www.bhartmatrimony.com

4] www.simplymarry.com

In addition to the sites, there are other sites also. Regional matrimonial sites are also popular and one has to locate and get registered. Registration is a simple process. Initially one can register fee and surf the partners profilers. But under this free registration, one cannot contact the other partner. In this case those who are already paid members can see your profiles and can approach you for further proceeding. Hence one should pay the fee which is in few thousands of Indian rupees and validity is for 3months-1 year. Paid members can send messages, view mobile numbers and go on interacting to understand each other.

For registration on matrimonial website, all you need is a good face photo & your ID /address proof (for verification later). You can login these sites by your email and password and then upload your photographs and fill the details about the followings:

Basic details – Age, height, education, religion, caste, occupation &mother tongue.

About me – Here you can write a paragraphs about you, likings, your life styles, your details of education, family, family backgrounds, details about your parents, brothers, sisters etc.

Desired partners – Here you can write age, religion, caste, education, city preference etc.

Further move:

Based on response, you may shortlist 5-10 boys or girls. Ask your parents to pass on the partner’s mobile number so that you can start talking to each other to understand each other’s liking, thoughts, strong views, future life expectation etc. Once acceptance on these aspects, one can Skype or meet for physically see each other. During these periods one should not be emotionally connected unless concluded.

After talking and meeting 2-3 times, one can have family meeting to see each other, exchange family details in person and discussion the marriage steps and arrangement.

After marriage, go meeting all 5 needs as stated above and have a great life.

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy-it’s all that     

                                                                          Audrey Hepburn

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